Here again

Long time no see.... thought why not give this blog idea another chance. Not much has changed since June. A long hard winter with a lot of long hard decisions, we misscarriade again and now we are up to 12 m/c. The always eternal question what do we want to do with our lives. The problem is, me thinking and DH (dear husband) hovering around the issues.

Is he committed? To me; Yes I am sure of it. To a life with or without children; Haven’t got a clue.
I feel like time is just running away from me and I am not sure of how I will use it. I don’t think he will ever understand how much of my inner self is occupied by this. He now that I have changed. He can se and feel the change, but I don’t think he understand the depth of it.
Some days I feel like I have no reason to laugh anymore. Some days I think; Maybe.
The last couple of days the feeling of “maybe” have getting hold of me again. Maybe I will try this once more and maybe we get there this time.
Have I found a way to believe in the future, not yet. But I am getting there.